Congratulations are in Order for Jim Edmonds for Marrying the Lucky Lady He and His Ex-Wife Had a Threesome With

Jim Edmonds. All Star. World Series Champion. Perennial Gold Glover. St. Louis Cardinals Hall of Famer. Legendary horndog:

And, with good reason, we can once again add, Very Happy Man. 

If you recall, in April of 2020, while the rest of us where huddled in our homes, terrified to go outside and shying away from all outside human contact, Jimmy Baseball was still living his best life. He was on a one-man - and two woman - crusade to prove the utter futility of broader society's "social distancing" guidelines by getting as close as possible to the people he loved. Truly, it was inspiring:

Page Six - Jim Edmonds is shacking up in his massive St. Louis mansion with his new girlfriend, Kortnie O’Connor.

Edmonds is currently in the midst of a divorce with former “Real Housewives of Orange County” star Meghan King Edmonds. 

Meghan first alluded to a relationship between O’Connor and her soon-to-be-ex on her “Intimate Knowledge” podcast. She later told us while the new couple was vacationing in Cabo that month, “We only had one threesome and only once during our marriage and that was with his current girlfriend.

As Carl put it so eloquently in his blog at the time, you can just tell there isn't a bigger threesome guy on the planet than Edmonds. His face just screams that he needs to be double up. So very, very true. One woman at a time simply isn't enough to satisfy this mighty swordsman's voracious sexual appetites. 

Now I'm happy to report that Kortnie O'Connor, the third member of that epic trio, wasn't just some one night stand. That was no, if you'll pardon my street vernacular, some pump-and-dump situation. Somewhere in that magnificent, chaotic scrum of mouths, hands, plural vaginas and multiple breasts, Edmonds found what ultimately all of us are looking for as we pass through this vale of tears. True love. 

People - Jim Edmonds and Kortnie O'Connor said their "I dos" over the weekend, in a destination wedding in Lake Como, Italy.

The former professional baseball center fielder, 52, and the realtor— who first went public with their relationship in April 2020 and got engaged last July. … 

"This was truly a dream wedding in a beautiful location surrounded by some of the most important people in our lives," O'Connor tells PEOPLE. "It was more than I could have ever imagined."

"The best part of the wedding is I now get to spend the rest of my life with Kortnie," Edmonds adds. "For the first time in my life, I finally understand true happiness." 

Like they say, the fourth time's the charm. Sometimes you've got to go through three spouses, three divorces, a few kids, and dozens upon dozens of double team blowies to find your real soulmate. You just don't always know which side of the penis she'll be on. But at the tender age of 52, The Jibmaster has discovered his at long last. 

It's like a fairy tale romance, only it's real life. I wish these two beautiful, love-struck kids all the happiness in the world. May their marriage be filled with love, kindness, support, and the kind of intimacy that can only come from watching your bride go down on a female bi-curious casual acquaintance. Now that he's found true happiness, I'm sure Edmonds is in this for the long haul. Til death do they part.

I'm not sure the ex-Mrs. Jim Edmonds shares that sentiment. But I for one cannot wait to hear from her next. It's going to be electric.